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What To Do When I'm Gone
A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter

One sleepless night while she was in her early twenties, Hallie had a painful realization: her mom would die, and after she died she would be gone.

The prospect was devastating, and also scary--how would she navigate the world without the person who gave her life? She thought about all the motherly advice she would miss—advice that could help her through the challenges to come, including the ordeal of losing a parent.

The next day, Hallie asked her mother, writer Suzy Hopkins, to record step-by-step instructions for her to follow in the event of her mom's death. The list began: "Pour yourself a stiff glass of whiskey and make some fajitas" and continued from there, walking Hallie through the days, months, and years of life after loss, with motherly guidance and support, addressing issues great and small—from choosing a life partner to baking a quiche. The project became a way for mother and daughter to connect with humor, openness, and gratitude. It led to this book.

Photographing this book for the site brought tears to my eyes, it's pretty wonderful.

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Hallie Bateman a freelance writer and illustrator based in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Her work has been published by The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Awl and others.

She is the author of Brave New Work (2016), What To Do When I’m Gone (2018) and Directions (2021).

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