Uhh, I get what you're feeling and it totally sucks and I agree and I don't mean to belittle it at all but it's been three months and you're taking care of yourself and doing what you need to do so now it is simply time to stop this. Have one last pity party and then CHEER THE FUCK UP.
The pin is an imperfect circle, sort of pathetic but very lovable. Just like you right now. Hang in there!
Silver enamel pin with standard pin back and black rubber clutch.