If you can't grow a real one (or even if you can), a Plush Moustache is the next best thing.
Pin this little Plushtache to your lapel for easy twiddling during conversational lulls.
Keep it in your pocket for all day comfort. Sleep with it under your pillow and dream of hirsute companions.
Plushtaches measure approximately 5 inches wide by 1 inch high by half an inch deep. Because each one is handmade with love, each Plushtache is slightly different from the others.
Stuffed with polyfill for squishy goodness.